What makes us truly happy? It seems, it’s just one thing
Hello lovely wonder souls!
How happy are we today? 🌟
This morning, I woke up outrageously happy. HELLO WORLD - I WANT TO HUG YOU! 💃 The poor cat - the only other creature awake so early on a Saturday - had no choice but to become object of my overflowing joy, and got tightly squeezed with cuddles until she had enough and ran away. Oh well - sometimes, love hurts*! 🤗
Last evening, I was part of a new-moon-celebration within a circle of wonderful women. Surrounded by candle light and bad-ass-crystals, we chanted together, set our intenions for the coming weeks, and spoke about hopes, dreams, and current feelings. There is something very sacred about an emotional space like this, and as a result, I went to bed feeling heard, cared for, and reminded that we are never truly alone. 🙏
What makes us happy? It seems, it’s just one thing.
My emotional state can be scientifically explained - by the longest running psychological study of all times! Known as the 'Grant Study’, a team of researchers followed 268 men from their entrance into college in the late 1930s all the way to the present day. Over time, the scientists have been able to identify circumstances and personal characteristics from this wealth of data that distinguished the happiest, fullest lives from the least successful ones. Their mission? Trying to find an answer to one of the most important questions of mankind: What is it that makes us happy? Is it Money? Fame? A quiet life on a self-sustaining farm with a killer coffee machine, a library, and happy animals around? 🦋 Mhhh, I think I made my choice! 😊
In 2009, George Vaillant, the psychologist who directed the Grant Study for the last 40 years, summarised the findings in one poignant sentence: “The 75 years and 20 million dollars expended on the study points to a straightforward five-word conclusion: ‘Happiness is love. Full stop.’” 💖
Can it really be that simple? YES! 🤗
Listen to the new director of the study, psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, who speaks in less than 13 minutes about the insights, process and findings of his work in the most beautiful and impactful way. Trust me: You will love it!
Deep down, we knew it all along: A happy life is build on loving relationships.
In “The Happiness Advantage” (a brilliant book I will review here for you shortly), author Shawn Achor writes that “when we have a community of people we can count on - spouse, family, friends, colleagues - we multiply our emotional, intellectual, and physical resources. We bounce back from setbacks faster, accomplish more, and feel a greater sense of purpose. The point is, the more social support you have, the happier you are. And as we know, the happier you are, the more advantages you accrue in nearly every domain of your life.” Hear, hear! 🌺
This weekend, lean into your relationships with these three simple tips.
1. Compliment every single person you meet. Start paying attention. Does the security guard of your complex sport a new quarantine haircut? Tell him that he looks amazing! Is your mum looking relaxed and radiant this morning while she sips her cup of tea? Give her a hug, and let her know. Do your brother’s Batman socks give him a bit of a dorky, but also ultra-cute look? Rephrase it, and tell him what an amazing superhero he would be. 🦹♀️ And did you remind all of them about the uniqueness of their chin?
All of us - I am no exception - constantly forget to tell the ones we love about the little things we so deeply cherish about them. Thus, make it a habit this weekend to genuinely compliment every single person you meet (pets included!), and spread the love. 💖 How does it make YOU feel**?
2. Surprise someone in the future. Time-travel a la “Dark”? Hell yes! 👻 Luckily, you don’t need a fancy tech-mech-machine or two ends of a wormhole to influence the future, but just a good old set of postcards. Yes, you read right - back to the postal basics, baby! 😎
Never underestimate the impact of sending a postcard to someone you love as a surprise, telling them how wonderful it is to have him/her in your life. BTW - this also is a wonderful self-love-exercise. When was the last time you told your future self that it is amazing? 💖 Exactly.
3. Press play! If you haven’t heard of South-African singer/songwriter Alice Phoebe Lou, then your life is about to change. 🌟 This 27-year old Berlin-based powerhouse is nothing but enchanting, and her song “She” from the film “Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story” was included on the Oscars shortlist for Best Original Song in 2017.
So put on your dancing shoes, grab your child / partner / mother / cat (or all together), turn up the volume, and shake your booty to this amazing live version! There is nothing more bonding than letting loose together. 💃 #yeahyeahyeah
Tell me about your compliment adventures, and if you send some postcards, share a picture. I would love to get inspired by your words and actions! In the meantime, have a wonderful, happy, relaxed weekend ahead! I will be back on Monday. 💖
With love from Goa,
Isabelle 🌿
* Please note: No cat actually got hurt this morning. While I type this, Fifi is peacefully snoozing in a little tray on top of my office fridge. 🐯
**The chances are very high that you will buzz with positive energy, too. Remember: Love, when shared, always multiplies. 💖
