What are you afraid of? How worry co-creates our experienced reality
Booh!
👻
Let’s do one thing today that scares us.
Good morning you wonderful souls! 🌴 How are you feeling today? How is your mood, how is your mind, how is your body ? Have all three of these survived manic Monday? If you need one - I am sending you a big, fat, squishy hug right now. If not - you’re getting one anyway! 😜
The other day, I read an interesting parable in a Goan newspaper.
“One upon a time, a king was told by a wise man that he would be killed by a tiger. So he got a big wooden box made and went to live in it. After some time, he got bored, and asked for books. Unfortunately for him, in one of the story books, was a picture of a tiger. He got such a shock that he died instantly. Often, it doesn’t take a real tiger to kill you - sometimes fear is all it takes!” Dear friends, what is your version of the tiger? 🐯
It seems, we all have a private big-cat-zoo in our heads. 🦁
Money, health, work, the world’s future - we live in scary times, and there is plenty to worry about literally every single moment of the day. I worry about my family in Germany and in New Delhi, I worry about my friends locked down in Mumbai, San Francisco and Berlin. I worry about any of us falling sick, of not getting enough work to pay our bills, of never being able to travel again.
I worry about the people who don’t have enough food, or who have to walk miles and miles to reach their homes, I worry about civil unrest, about the bad guys winning, about having no hope left… I worry, full stop, and I know that I am not alone.
Don’t believe everything you think.
Constant worry is exhausting, and it leaves many of us emotionally drained. This is connected to a phenomena called ‘Allostatic Load’, the physical effect of stress*. It seems, however, that we are exhausted not because our bodies work in overdrive - but because our brains do!
Like I wrote the other day, did you know that your mind thinks between 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day? WHAT! That’s an average of 2,500-3,300 thoughts per hour. WHATTTTT!!! And of those, 80% are mostly negative, and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. In a nutshell: we pretty much spend our lives thinking THE SAME THOUGHTS over and over again. And most of them aren’t happy or productive but - to be frank - rather dull.
The funny thing is: Our brains are actually not able to distinguish between an imagined and a real experience.
Despite some scientific debate on this matter, our brains most likely can’t tell the difference between something we are thinking about, and something that’s actually happening. This is how the tiger from the story book becomes real, and the king dies because of it. In many cases, what we think and how we think about it (a.k.a. is the glass half full or half empty) therefore co-creates our experienced reality.
So what can we do to break free from anxiety and fear - at least for a short while?**
When inner waves storm high and the sea of emotions gets rough, the stability of our mental health is as solid as a small paper boat tossed around on the wild ocean, and our mind is - as usual - not our best friend on this voyage. Therefore, here are four easy-to-implement tips I personally swear by that free you from the tower of worry, and bring you back to the magical kingdom of the Here & Now.
1. Step 1: Get out of your head.
Every time, my mind gets racy, I make it a point to move. Do 10 squats. Put on music, and jump around. Run up and down the staircase a few times. Chase the cat (or the husband)! As soon as the heart starts pumping, and the sweat glands start perspiring, the rush of feel-good chemicals kicks in to reduce the brain’s perception of unease or even pain.
It is not only the endorphins, however, that makes us feel good when overthinking is on loop - it is the hard gear shift away from our minds, and into tangible matter (our bodies) that gets us back into the present moment. 💃
2. The “I-am-Mantra”***.
It sounds simple, but as most things that feel “too basic”, it is highly effective. It goes like this: When you take a deep breath in, think “I am”. When you slowly breath out, think “calm”. Focus on it. See the words forming in front of your inner eye. If it helps you, say it out loud. With each breath, you will be able to bring more awareness back into your body, and your mind will quieten down. UFF! There have been many moments in my life where this little exercise literally saved me - and I hope it does the same for you. 🌿
3. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise.
“Grounding” is a technique that can help bring us into the present moment with the help our senses. So the next time, you feel stuck in a not-so-comfortable mind trap, start by describing
- 5 things you see
- 4 four things you can feel
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell, and
- 1 good thing about yourself
It really works! 💖
4. Listen to Eckhard Tolle 🤗
I don’t know about you, but when I feel anxious, simply listening to the lovely voice of Eckhard Tolle calms me down almost instantly. Much of his material deals with questions of the mind and thoughts, and this 12-minute-long video below brings me great peace. No matter the mood you are in today: Watch it - and trust me, you’ll feel better. 🙏
Remember: Life’s not about waiting for the storms to pass - it’s about learning to dance in the rain. 💖
With love from Goa,
Isabelle 🌿
*If you are interested, here is the link to the paper called “Stress or stressed out - what is the difference?”
**Most of you are aware that I am not a certified psychologist or mental health expert, and that all points mentioned above are based on personal experiences. This stuff really helped and helps me, which is the reason I decided to share it with you.💖 If you, dear reader, however, are in a much more severe state of mental dis-ease, or clinically diagnosed with depression, please reach out either to your professional and trusted doctor, or a certified therapist. There is no shame in asking for help. You can do this. 🙏
***You can also use this lovely exercise for other kinds of manifestation. For instance, when I feel creatively uninspired before starting a project or a task, I close my eyes, and breath into “I am - super creative”. And no jokes - after practising my ‘mantra’ for a few minutes, the ideas just start to push to the surface like bubbles in a freshly opened champagne bottle! 🥂 Go, try for yourself.
